I have one piece of parenting advice that I always share with friends and family. It’s to ignore all of the parenting advice you are given and do whatever works for you! Ha. Profound, I know. But, there is one thing I want to share that has truly saved my sanity in the almost two years since having Hazel. I need to preface it by saying I know I am extremely lucky to have this as an option. I also know this is not possible for everyone, but maybe it will help a tired mom out there somewhere.
Hazel is not a great sleeper and hasn’t been since the day she was born. We’ve done all of the sleep training methods and she gets into a good routine and then usually out of it really quick. Most nights for the first 18 months of her life, she would be up at least 2-3 times. I really think sleep deprivation is torture because it affects absolutely every aspect of your life negatively.
Sam and I are both the kind of people who function best when we get 8 hours of sleep. Doesn’t everyone though? The first few weeks of parenting threw us into a tired frenzy. This is all familiar to most parents, but we decided we both just couldn’t do it. So, we came up with a little arrangement. It’s called “Vacation Suite”. We have a guest bedroom in our basement and we decided to start using it. Every other night, we would switch off sleeping down there. It’s soundproof, which means even though the baby was waking up multiple times a night, you cannot hear it when you’re in the vacation suite. After the first night down there, I knew it was going to make a world of difference.
Waking up refreshed, I was able to get through the day and be a more patient, loving, level-headed person. So, if you need a one night vacation that will change your life, start using that guest bedroom or sleeping on the couch with noise-canceling headphones, or whatever it takes to get some rest! I’m so glad we have been using a room in our house that otherwise sat ignored 99% of the time.
We have not done this for 20 months straight. We did do it quite a bit in the first 6 months of Hazel’s life, but she would get into good stretches where she would sleep pretty well and Sam and I could sleep in the same bed 🙂 After that, we would just do it when she was having a rough week and not sleeping well. It was also really great if one of us had something important the next day, we could sleep in the vacation suite.
Right before Hazel was born, I decided to decorate the vacation suite and make it cozy and comfortable. I just added a side table, candle and art and pillows that I loved. Little did I know, I would be spending a lot of time in there! It’s nice to have a space that feels very calming and quiet when you’re a new parent.
I know there are people thinking, wait how did you do this while breastfeeding? Well, if it was within a 6-hour stretch that the baby woke up, Sam would feed her milk that I had previously pumped or formula. Then, he would bring her down to me in the morning for feeding before taking her back upstairs again. This worked really well for us until I stopped breastfeeding at 9 months. Then, feedings were simplified because it was just formula.
Sam is a very involved parent and we knew to go into this parenting thing that we both wanted to give 100%. It has made a world of difference. We both LOVE our sleep and do not take it for granted. I’m happy to report we are currently in a great stage where Hazel is sleeping from about 7:30PM-6:30AM, so we rarely use the vacation suite.
I would love to hear what has worked for you when it comes to surviving on little sleep as a parent!
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